Indebted! 1

He saves me. He has saved me so many times that I have become used to it. I was lonely; I needed someone to call mine. And yes, they didn’t love me at home, so don’t blame me.

I have never dated anyone because I’ve never felt any connection to the opposite gender, even to the same gender that I tried. They all remained people I know, not even friends. So, I’m really alone in this world. But I crave to be loved.
Being alone doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy life with the little money I have.

I was at this restaurant one time, done eating, and was about to leave when I tripped and thought I fell, until I felt hands on my body, which made me realize I was saved. I stood up straight to thank the person who saved me from embarrassment.
 ‘Thank you so much’, I said it with a smile.
 ‘You’re welcome. I’m Ryan'
I nodded my head with a little smile, thinking if there was a need for him to tell me his name—I mean, no need for familiarities.
You’re?
Ohh, I’m Demilade.
Nice please, can I have your number? So next time you fall, I will no longer be a stranger saving you, as I will always save you anytime, anywhere.
Hahaha, E gba mi o,

..is that how lonely and unorganized I look on the outside? I wanted to lash him with some words, but instead, I just said...
Lol, you’re funny. Give me your phone.

As I entered my number, we said goodbye. As I was going home, I was just thinking.
'See, finish, nla, a whole me. Why I gave him my number, sef?, I don’t know’.
Low key I thought he would message me later that night, but he didn’t till a week later. It started with a hello, then turned to how was your day, and the remaining things the musician said. As I noticed the conversation was getting pretty interesting, I chipped in how I felt about what he said. He apologized and explained that that wasn’t what he might have meant and that he was trying to use it as a pick-up line, but probably it was lame. From there, to great conversations and outings. I started feeling comfortable with him, and there were no red flags, or maybe there were, but they were green for 'Go, go for it' to me.
I started living with him. He actually told me to come live with him since I’m still in school; at least paying the hostel rent fee will reduce as I don’t even have money like that. He really did the best he could to take care of me because he was my only family now. I told him all about how lonely I have been since I had no one to comfort me, and he promised he would be good to me. But what was I bringing to the table? I don’t really know how wealthy he is; all I know is that he provides the basics at home. I don’t ask him for anything; he just buys them for me. As much as I was comfortable with him, I still don’t want to be that dependent on him because I don’t have anything to offer. I sometimes get him gifts, but they are not up to his standards. Sometimes, he just collects them and drops them on one side. Although he will appreciate the gift, it feels unfulfilling.
He told me one day that I should stop getting him gifts. I told him that’s my way of being appreciative of the things he has done. He said everything he’s doing for me is out of love and nothing else. I was happy to hear that. I stopped getting him gifts and somehow stopped feeling sorry for not being able to meet his standards. In one word, I felt more comfortable and enjoyed the moments. But sweet things sometimes have an aftertaste, and this has a very bad aftertaste.
It was a Friday evening, and we were both at home. Normally, he won’t be at home till night, and I would have cooked for him. Even if I couldn’t contribute financially, I still cleaned the house and washed plates and clothes with the help of a washing machine. Sometimes, he does tell me not to cook; instead, we will order it. Amidst some other days, I lived a soft life. That evening, he called me and told me to help him wash his shirts. In my mind, I was like, Why couldn’t he put it in the washing machine himself?

But maybe he’s tired of doing that. So, as I was walking towards the washing machine, he stopped me and said,
'Use your hands; the washing machine is fading out my shirts'