I think I’m living my life on repeat
Have you ever thought of the possibility that our buried past will repeat itself in new generations and in new ways? and whether we recall them or not, it’s saved somewhere?
Some of you might have and some might haven’t, but let me tell you a story and leave you to decide.
My first ever boyfriend was everything I thought I needed at the time, and I enjoyed it, but what ruined the relationship were his actions—his non-chalancy, manipulation, gaslighting, and so much more. After an argument, he reduces his bad actions, showers me with love, and then gives me a ghost.
Puff... everything into the thin air
Saying all this now, I don’t think it was ever anything I needed.
After a few years of not dating, I found myself in a new relationship.
Found? Like I didn’t get into it myself😹
We started talking for a couple of months, and during those times we were on and off. I didn’t read too much meaning into it. I mean, we aren’t a thing; why should I be expecting consistency?
He changed for some time, and things became serious. I don’t know whether to call it official or not. Funny right? Yeah, I know.
He had his own bad behaviours; we all have them, but they weren’t like the first one. I meant to say it was crazier than the first one. We will just be talking, and I will be expecting his reply, just for him to vanish. Leaving me wondering what exactly went wrong. I would be like, from where to where, how did we get here?.
Then he’d come back like nothing had happened.
Lol
Foolish me still gave him a chance, and he continued to do it again and again and again.
Sigh
Then I left.
I’m sure you guys will be saying, 'O je bí' 'You shouldn’t have na’.
But I left.
Now, I am in something like a relationship, and I can see traces of him treading on the same path. Then, I thought and analysed something.
I didn’t pay attention to something in my first relationship, and it happened in the second relationship. When it happened, I was like, 'What is going on? Why is this particular issue resurfacing?’. And this made me remember a situation that I had with an old friend. We were friends for the longest time and invested so much in each other, just for the person for some unknown reasons, ghosted me.
Puff...into the thin air again.
These different patterns but same actions were getting so visible and disturbing because I don’t want to end up with people who that ghosts, right? And you may be thinking,
Nahh, she’s just overreacting. No, I’m not!.
Because things that get stored in our subconscious don’t get lost, but they resurface in our lives as destiny or chance.
Then I came to the conclusion that nothing is ever lost. Rather, the pieces merely change directions, and whether they are from our parents past or ours, they are also saved somewhere.
I’m almost close to asking my parents about any history of 'ghosting' that might have happened in their lives or their parents lives, but I just want to let you guys know first.
No matter how unrealistic you think this story is, think and check within
Then ask..
What are they?
And if you thought, because of my intro, I was going to write about spiritual battles, you are wrong. Pray against those, 'cause they’re real. This too is real, but you get what I mean.
I haven’t found a way to stop all these patterns, but I hope I do. If you have any idea on how it can be stopped, I am ready to listen.
Thank you and see y’all in my next story.
